blogs | Kettle Moraine Counseling

Tips for Healthy Grieving

By Deb Graf, LPC

Is Grief the Same as Mourning?

Grief is the conflict in feelings caused by a change or an end in a familiar pattern of behavior. It is a normal and natural reaction to the many losses we experience in life. Of itself, grief is not pathological. Mourning, on the other hand, is the outward expression of grief.

TABOO STATEMENTS:

Don’t Feel Bad. (Healing comes from feeling the pain.)
Replace the Loss. (First grieve the loss.)
Grieve alone. (People grieve alone because they are afraid of being judged or criticized.)
Be strong. (Real strength is a natural demonstration of emotions.)
Keep busy. (Face the pain – don’t bury it.)
Time heals all wounds. (Actions, not time, heals.)

ACTIONS NECESSARY FOR COMPLETE RECOVERY:

Apologize for any wrong doing
Forgiveness: giving up hope of a different or better yesterday, to cease to feel resentment against [an offender]. It is an action, not a feeling.
Significant emotional statements: “I love you; I liked your laughter….”
Reminisce fond memories.

HOW TO GRIEVE:

Set aside time that is quiet
Select modalities to help you process: writing, singing, walking, or talking to supportive people
Use music, photo albums, and lyrics to set the mood
Value your needs and trust your process
Arrange for support
Consider what an “unacceptable” emotion is. Why? (No emotion is unacceptable.)

Your life is like a chapter book:
It has some sad chapters. Some of the best stories have sad chapters, but the later chapters can be happy and exciting.

November 2012 Newsletter of Kettle Moraine Counseling Services!

Counselors and Social Workers have to attend ethics training every 2 years to keep their licenses active, so last week I attended ethics training focused around the Internet and how it has changed the counseling field- in many ways for the good,

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If you would like to be on our “Newsletter” mailing list, please Email: Devona@kettlemorainecounseling.com

Clinic News: Counselors and Social Workers have to attend ethics training every 2 years to keep their licenses active, so last week I attended ethics training focused around the Internet and how it has changed the counseling field- in many ways for the good, but there are some privacy concerns with the Internet. After the training, I know I will be more careful on what personal information I put out there on the internet, because it’s really hard to retract information. For those of us with children at home, some tips the trainer gave us was to:

Monitor Internet use (but also know that the kids are smarter than us electronically and will come up with ways around our monitoring)
Educate kids on the dangers of the internet and putting your information out there.
Also explain cyber bullying and what it is, how to avoid it and how not to participate in it.

And a note for us adults: some employers are looking us up via Facebook and other Social Media sites, so be cautious about what you post!

In this newsletter, Deb Graf LPC, shares some information on grief with us. Thank you Deb! A book I am reading that I recommend to clients/professionals is Spontaneous Happiness by Andrew Weil. He give us some great ideas on staying balanced, centered and peaceful. I have implemented some of the things he recommends and am feeling better for it! One tip from his book, which is very poignant for this month is a giving gratitude on a daily basis; there is so much to be thankful for, and by recognizing the good we do have, we feel better about our life. So today I am thankful for the extra hour of sleep I got this morning, a fun weekend at the cabin with my sisters, and that I really love the work that I do and the connections I make with people.

Have a good Thanksgiving
Devona L Marshall MS LPC

Tips for Healthy Grieving
By Deb Graf, LPC

Is Grief the Same as Mourning?

Taboo Statements:

Don’t Feel Bad. (Healing comes from feeling the pain.)
Replace the Loss. (First grieve the loss.)
Grieve alone. (People grieve alone because they are afraid of being judged or criticized.)
Be strong. (Real strength is a natural demonstration of emotions.)
Keep busy. (Face the pain – don’t bury it.)
Time heals all wounds. (Actions, not time, heals.)

Actions Necessary for Complete Recovery:

Apologize for any wrong doing
Forgiveness: giving up hope of a different or better yesterday, to cease to feel resentment against [an offender]. It is an action, not a feeling.
Significant emotional statements: “I love you; I liked your laughter….”
Reminisce fond memories.

How to Grieve:

Set aside time that is quiet
Select modalities to help you process: writing, singing, walking, or talking to supportive people
Use music, photo albums, and lyrics to set the mood
Value your needs and trust your process
Arrange for support
Consider what an “unacceptable” emotion is. Why? (No emotion is unacceptable.)

Your life is like a chapter book:
It has some sad chapters. Some of the best stories have sad chapters, but the later chapters can be happy and exciting.

Experienced-Ethical-Client Centered

Clinic Director/Staff Therapist: Devona L Marshall MS LPC NCC

Devona is friendly, empathetic and experienced. She has provided services in the community for over 10 years and loves her work! Helping people live healthier, happier lives is her passion, and she has special skills to help with people with anger issues and couples who are struggling (or just want to get better!). She sees adolescents, adults and couples. Give her a call to see if she is the right therapist for you!

Staff Therapist: Julianne Morrison MS TLPC

Julianne is a warm and genuine counselor who is passionate about helping clients. Julianne has a particular interest in relationships, as she considers connecting with people a central task in life. Julianne sees adolescents and adults struggling with anxiety, depression, family conflict, processing decisions, or relationship issues. She has her Master’s Degree in Counseling from the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee.

Staff Therapist: Deb Graf MS LPC

Deb is a Licensed Professional Counselor who loves to help people feel better about themselves, relationships and life. Unfortunately, we are often burdened with trauma, loss, challenges and pain that make life difficult and emotionally draining. With proper support, insight, encouragement, and healthy boundaries, we can grow and learn from these challenges to find more satisfaction with our relationships and living experiences.

Staff Therapist: JoEllyn Schultz LCSW (Cedarburg)

JoEllyn is an honest and directive clinician. She believes her patients are seeking change and she is skilled in providing guidance and respect as she works to identify their strengths. She assists her patients in using these strengths to create the changes that will provide relief and change in their lives.

Staff Therapist: Angela Waldoch MSAT

Angela is an experienced art therapist and holds a Masters in Art Therapy with an emphasis in Counseling from Mount Mary College. She has worked with diverse individuals across the lifespan.

Staff Therapist: Tammy Ricke MSW APSW

Tammy obtained her Masters in Social Work at the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee. She is licensed as a Certified Advance Practice Social Worker (CAPSW) through the State of Wisconsin and is a member of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW).

Staff Therapist: Lester Menke MS TLPC

Lester has a Master of Science Degree in Mental Health Counseling from Concordia University in Wisconsin.
He has ten years experience working with people with developmental disabilities, traumatic brain injuries, and mental health issues.

Staff Therapist: Christina Lachner MS TLPC

Christina has a Master’s Degree in Counseling from Concordia University in Wisconsin. She has experience working with people that have developmental disabilities, as well as in the mental health field.

Staff Therapist: Jennifer Skinner MS TLPC

Jennifer has her Master’s Degree in clinical and school counseling from Concordia University. Jennifer’s has much experience working with children, adolescents, adults, and families who present a wide range of clinical needs. She creates a safe, healing environment that is focused on enhancing a client’s resources and strengths.

October 2012 Newsletter of Kettle Moraine Counseling Services!

Fall leaves are turning earlier this year; the Northwood’s leaves were at peak a week ago- sure is beautiful outside right now. I am going to NYC to see my oldest in a few weeks and I am very excited to spend some time with him. The concrete sidewalks in NYC really hurt my feet so I am looking for good walking shoes (looking at clogs with good support), but I can never find comfortable shoes for my wide feet : ( . At the clinic, Tammy Ricke and Lester Menke have moved over to the Cedarburg office where they will be seeing clients. That makes 4 therapists at Cedarburg: Tammy, Lester, Jennifer Skinner and JoEllyn Schultz. Deb Graf and Christina Lachner are doing some training for foster families, and I have included that information in this newsletter. BadgerCare has had some recent changes with United Healthcare no longer being a provider and some clinics no longer taking Badgercare clients. At our clinic we will continue to serve BadgerCare clients, and we take all the HMO’s for Washington County residents. We are in the helping profession and all people deserve high quality care. Till next time, be gentle with yourself and others. Devona Marshall Clinic Director

Parents of foster or adoptive children experience many challenges that most people don’t understand. Did you know there is a support group for you? It’s called Washington and Ozaukee County Foster Parent Support Group. Besides receiving support, attendance at these sessions also provides CEU’s for foster parent training hours! KMC’s counselors, Deb Graf and Christina Lachner, are presenters at the next two meetings.

If you are interested in attending the sessions below, or other sessions, please RSVP to Jamie Webber, 262/346-8294 or jwebber17@att.net

Family Center of Washington County
1517 Lang Street West Bend, WI 53090

EMDR Reduces Anxiety and Trauma Symptoms
October 11, 2012, 7–9 pm

EMDR stands for “Eye Movement, Desensitization and Reprocessing”. Developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1900’s, this researched psychotherapeutic approach uses bilateral stimulation to “unfreeze”traumatic body memories, integrate the thinking and feeling sides of the brain, and rapidly process the memories in order to provide freedom from anxiety and trauma symptoms. In this workshop, participants will briefly understand what EMDR is, how EMDR works, and observe EMDR in action. In addition, Deb will teach parents how to use bilateral stimulation to create a “safe place” for your child so that your child can physically relax, and hopefully sleep better at night.

Children’s Grief: Recognize Symptoms and Help Child Cope
November 8, 2012, 7-9 pm

Unfortunately, foster children experience many significant losses: birth parents, siblings, schools, friends, caregivers, different homes and rules, loss of innocence due to neglect and/or abuse, stability…. Since children don’t have the coping skills to deal with their grief, they usually avoid emotions and become “numb”, which creates more anxiety and behavior problems. Biological children also grieve over the addition of foster kids to their family (not as much time with parents, have to share house and toys…),and again when the foster children leave. During this workshop, participants will be able to identify the numerous losses children experience, recognize grieving behaviors at various age levels, implement emotional safety techniques so children feel safe to grieve, and develop coping strategies to help their children process their grief.

Therapy & Counseling Insurance Basics

by Dorothy Lehman

Health care can be complex, and for many of us, understanding health insurance coverage can be overwhelming. Between coinsurances and copays, deductibles, networks and health savings accounts, it seems designed to be confusing! Let’s see if we can navigate through some of these terms and help clear up some of the questions.

Insurance card. This is most important piece of information needed for billing purposes. Often, insurances will have a special network to handle mental health claims, and that information is found on the back of the card, along with the contact information needed for obtaining benefits and authorization, as well as where to send the claims. Missing some of this information can slow down claim processing and delay payment.
Managed Care. More than half of all insured Americans are enrolled in a managed care plan. Managed care plans have contracts with providers and your costs are usually lower if you use these network providers.
Behavioral Health Network: Often there is a different network used to manage mental health services, and there may be different deductibles, co-insurance and co-pays for mental health services.

Deductible: This is the amount an individual pays before insurance will begin paying benefits. Deductibles may be as low as $100 on up to several thousand dollars. Deductibles usually are for each calendar year, so with the beginning of a new year, the deductible amount reactivates. Deductibles may be different for various kinds of medical care. For example, you may have no deductible or a very low deductible for office visits to physicians, similarly, you may have a higher deductible if your provider is out of network.

Co-insurance. This is a percentage of the medical expenses you may have to pay after the deductible has been met. A typical coinsurance arrangement is 80 percent by the insurer and 20 percent by the insured. Coinsurance rates may vary depending on the types of services you receive or whether or not you receive services from an approved provider.

Co-payment. This is a fixed dollar amount you may have to pay at the time of service. Some plans require that a deductible first be met before a co-payment applies.

Cost-sharing. This is financial contribution that allows you to set aside money for health care services before you pay income taxes on it. As long as that money is only used for “qualifying expenses”, such as deductibles, co-insurance and co-pays, then you will never pay income tax on that money. If you expect to incur medical expenses not reimbursed by your current health insurance, you should definitely think about participating in an FSA or HSA if one is offered.

Let’s look at the two most common types: Flexible Spending Accounts (FSA) and Health Savings Accounts (HSA).

Flexible Spending Accounts (FSA). An FSA is a spending account set up by employers to allow you to set aside pre-tax money to pay for qualified medical expenses during the year. Only employers may set up an account. Each year, you determine the amount of money you want deducted from your paycheck and put into this account. The key to an FSA is that it is “use-it or lose-it”. The money you set aside in one year must be spent in that year, or it will be forfeited, so you have to carefully anticipate your health care expenses for the coming year to avoid losing any money that you contribute and don’t spend.

Health Savings Accounts (HSA). An HSA is a savings account, not a spending account, which means that you may save that money until you need it, even if you don’t need it until many years later. Deposits to the account may come directly from your paycheck, your employer may make deposits to the account, or you may make deposits on your own. The major benefit to an HSA is the fact that the money is always yours to keep or use. It does not go away at the end of the year. And it is also portable. If you leave your employer, the HSA is yours; you take it with you.
Only those who have a high-deductible health insurance plan may set up an HSA in order to take advantage of the tax benefit. The rules about how high that deductible must be, and how much can be saved, vary from year to year.

Dorothy Lehman is the billing specialist at Kettle Moraine Counseling and the clinic director couldn’t get by without her! If you have questions or concerns about your insurance, don’t hesitate to call Dorothy at 262.388.9425, or Dorothy@kettlemorainecounseling.com. She can check your benefits before you begin services so that you know what the expense will be.

July 2012 Newsletter of Kettle Moraine Counseling Services!

I am a little late getting the newsletter out this month, due to vacation in the north woods all of last week. It was a nice time, but awfully hot! The Cedarburg office has moved down the road to a bigger office. Moving is usually not fun, but it will be good for the staff and clients. JoEllyn Schultz and Jennifer Skinner are currently seeing clients there, and Tammy Ricke and Lester Menke will also be working out of that office. In this issue, Lori Landy sent over some interesting information on teens and alcohol use, plus
Christina Lachner writes about summertime! Some of my favorite summer activities are all outdoors; swimming (I so want a pool), biking, looking at stars (and fireflies), tubing and kayaking. My oldest will also be visiting next month : )

Summer always seems to go by so fast, so try and make the most of it!

Devona Marshall

Wow, it’s already July!!!
by Christina Lachner MS TLPC

As promised here is a continuation of last month’s easy and simple things to do so you are not pulling your hair out come September! Towards the end of this month just
spend an hour or so organizing the literature you may need to take to next year’s teachers.

Take a break, you need one!!!
Whatever you may decide to do; don’t forget to keep some time for yourself. Just as we are so conscientious about taking care of our children, we forget to take care of
ourselves. If your child is away, even for a day, can you and your S.O. get away, too?

What can you do that will help you feel relaxed and feel a little bit refreshed or renewed? Just get away and do it!!!

Monthly Variation in Substance Use Initiation Among Adolescents

This report found that, on an average day in June and July, more than 11,000 adolescents age 12 to 17 use alcohol for the first time—December is the only other month with comparable levels. Throughout the rest of the year, the daily average for first-time alcohol use ranges from 5,000 to 8,000 adolescents. The report is based on SAMHSA’s 2002 to 2010 National Surveys on Drug Use and Health.