blogs | Kettle Moraine Counseling

Listening to your body

I am one of these people whose emotions manifest somewhere in their bodies, almost instantaneously! Particularly anxiety or worry will be felt in my stomach usually as a swirling emotion and sadness/grief in my chest or head area. The other part of my body that carries my emotions is my lower back- not all of my back pain is emotionally connected, but when I am feeling down or having relationship issues, my lower back will often hurt.

I have learned to use this as a guidance system to what is going on inside of me and to bring things into awareness that I was out of touch about and then take care of the emotions in some way. For me taking care of worry or anxiety is doing soothing self talk and exercise. I am amazed that even a 5 minute walk with almost always reduce any anxiety I feel. When I am sad or feeling down, what helps me is to journal and to connect with others, and then I usually feel the physical sensations subside.

With the individuals I have seen in therapy, I have had a front row seat in seeing how our emotions manifest in our bodies from fainting, vomiting, heart palpitations, tingly sensations, headaches, movement problems to high blood pressure influenced by stress.

I do believe in a balanced approach to physical pain/problems that may have an emotional component. First and foremost, any medical causes have to be ruled out/ruled in! Then we can look at the mind/body connection and how our emotions may be influencing the physical.
A quick way to see if your bodily sensations are emotionally connected is to:

Scan your body in your mind. This can be quick, but notice what sensations are at each part, if any.
Describe the sensation, what does it feel like.
Ask yourself if this sensation is connected to anything in your life.
If an emotion/situation does get identified in this process, take some steps to listen to it and address it (talking, exercising, journaling, positive self talk, etc).

What is Art Therapy

Perhaps Wisconsin native artist Georgia O’Keeffe (1887-1986) said it best while describing her own creative process, “I found that I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for.”

Angela Waldoch on Art Therapy:

Art Therapy 101

So what is Art Therapy?

Art therapy is using art as a means of expression to improve and enhance the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of individuals of all ages, abilities, and from all walks of life. Research indicates the inherent powers of art making can help people resolve conflicts and problems, develop interpersonal skills, manage behavior, reduce stress, increase self-esteem and self-awareness, and achieve insight (AATA, 2011)

How is Art Therapy Powerful?

Art is the universal language. It is cross-cultural; it knows no age, gender, race, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status. In fact, human beings have been expressing themselves through imagery since the beginning of time. Whether you define yourself as an artist or not, creating art is a natural, innate gift we all posses.

The creative art process allows the client to experience freedom of spontaneity, choice, and control. Art making operates on a meta-verbal and often subconscious level; it can offer a different perspective and insight for a client, especially the resistive client who does not want to talk. You will be surprised how quickly someone will open up if given the opportunity to create art. Suddenly, the art becomes the thing to talk about, and this also allows for separation from the client’s situation, in a safe and non-threatening way. The art then becomes the problem, not the person and situation.

Who Can Do Art Therapy?

Art therapists are trained mental health professionals well versed in both the areas of art application and professional counseling. However, art as a form of therapy can be used by any mental health professional. I recommend having at least these basic materials readily available in your office: white paper, markers, colored pencils, and crayons, just incase you encounter a client who cannot find the words to express what is happening right now.

How can we improve the sexual intimacy that we experience with our partner?

We are busy at the clinic expanding again- we got the suite next door and we will more than double the size of the waiting room, and there will be a place are in the waiting room with toys for kids to play. Also we are adding two more therapy offices-

Question and Answer: How can we improve the sexual intimacy that we experience with our partner? Can we develop a stronger emotional and physical connection?

by Layne Sampson MS LPC NCC

Intimacy is a necessity in any relationship, and can be both rewarding and difficult at times. The definition of intimacy may differ from person to person, woman to man. Does intimacy mean emotions and feelings? Or physical closeness? Or both?

Some individuals may question whether or not their partner is satisfied sexually, or if they themselves are enjoying being intimate with their partner. Some may want increased emotional rather than physical intimacy, or vice versa. Some couples may have ongoing concerns about their sex lives, experience jealousy, low self-esteem, fertility concerns, have experienced an event such as an affair, or may have different interests in the bedroom than their partner has. All of these concerns are important, and could lead to increased distress and relationship difficulties. Sometimes these difficulties may manifest themselves outside of the bedroom, and affect the partnership in a more intense way.

A few simple tips for improved sexual and emotional intimacy:

Communicate with your partner 2-3 things that you enjoy about being intimate with them, and 1 thing you would like them to do more of.
Spice up your surroundings (think room setting, music, temperature, aromas).
Look into each other’s eyes for at least 2 minutes—no laughing or looking away!
Tell your partner something that you would enjoy in the bedroom if your sexual desires were to be catered to.
Remove one of your senses (think sight, sound, touch).
Reminisce about your first date, your first sexual experience together, or your favorite experience together.
Each partner plan a date night—their choice! (then switch!)

The hope is that there are more rewarding and positive intimate experiences (physical and emotional), gained through increased communication, bonding experiences, and true intimacy and connection on various levels.

“True intimacy is a human constant. People of all types find it equally hard to achieve, equally precious to hold…” ~Robert Grudin

Blog Excerpt: Mindful Living: Being a Team

If you are in a relationship (and you are stubborn) it’s best to try and and see the other’s point of view, and not be overly committed to how you see things. If you are willing to see that you are TEAM and you want a win win situation, the relationship becomes much easier and you become closer! www.devonamarshall@blogspot.com

What if I Hate the Holidays?

We got a new puppy at our house- and it’s been a lot of work, but also a lot of fun. She is very cute and also mouthy. Our vet gave her a clean bill of health today- her name is Jordyn and we are looking forward to many years with her!

Question and Answer:

“I hate the holidays! I don’t find any meaning in them and just can’t wait until it’s all over. Please help……..”

I understand this problem because I have experienced it myself! It can be hard to find meaning in our holidays when they are filled with the excesses of consumerism, but it is possible. First, lower your expectations- do not expect the holidays of your dreams or our cultures dreams- it usually does not exist for most of us. There probably will be some fighting, too much drinking, and not enough money. Pick out what you do enjoy and focus in on that- the decorations, baking, music or visiting. Ask yourself what is meaningful to me, and then do it!

Start new traditions if the old don’t do it for you anymore. In our family, one of our traditions (that my husband and I started) is to buy an ornament for that year that symbolized something that we went through during the year. So, we have school buses for when the kids entered grade school, a golden retriever ornament for when Lucky came into our lives, a new house ornament for the year we bought our house, etc. We all look forward to looking at the ornaments each year and it’s a wonderful trip down memory lane.

Many people feel lack of meaning around the holidays, so be gentle with yourself!

Research update:

From Stanford University October 2010:

As we age we are more emotionally balanced, we get along with others better and we are more compassionate. Good news!

Blog excerpt Mindful Living:

Holiday Expectations
Although I think my journey to peace with the holidays is not finished yet, I do think some things can help many of us have more contentment around the season. The first is to watch your expectations, about family connections, food, gifts, etc, and know that “it is what it is”. Your family may not be the “Cleavers” but it doesn’t mean that your family isn’t unique- celebrate your differences! Start new family traditions that mean something to you- snowy walks, singing, movies, baking, playing games, midnight church-anything that brings meaning or fun. Remember you are not alone!

www.devonamarshall@blogspot.com

Kettle Moraine Counseling has openings for clients! And we can usually get people in that day or the following day. We take most insurance, and also, work out payment arrangements when needed.

From the director:

Things are going well at our clinic, and we may be expanding again-

More room for kids to play and spread out. The extra suite should open Dec. 1st or so. If you ever want a tour or look around, let me know- I love to show off our place! Deb Graf is getting training on Attachment Therapy and Eating Disorders. Layne is training on being a yoga instructor. Tricia and Julianne presented training on students and mental health to the WB School District. Lori presented on seasonal affective disorder to a local business, and Julianne recently attended training on divorce mediation. Busy staff! We are available for presentations/speaking on many topics- please contact Devona for information.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays- and I hope you enjoy your day, and share what you are thankful for because there are so many blessings in our lives if we really think about it! This year I am thankful for my new pup, the economy improving, woodstoves to keep us warm, and that Kettle Moraine Counseling has only been open since March 1st but it is doing so well. Thank you for trusting us with your/others care! Devona Marshall

Why am I always Stressed Out and Irritable?

Deb Graf sees children, adolescents, adults and couples and she comes with many years of experience as a teacher. One of Deb’s specialties is working with children who have experienced trauma or have attachment issues.

Question and Answer.
I feel so stressed out and irritable all the time! What are some ways I can get a handle of this?

First off, good job recognizing that something needs to change! There are many reasons why we feel a lot of stress and many ways to make changes in our stress level. First off, try and identify which areas of your life cause the most stress (work, family, finances, physical health, etc) and then deal with each area individually. For example, if getting the kids off to school is a very difficult part of your day, there are organizational things you can do to make it easier, the same with supper time, or with taking better care of yourself. Getting more organized will help enormously on your stress level.

Next, there are some general stress reduction tips that work for many of us. How we label an event or situation greatly contributes to how we feel about it- so putting things in a more positive light helps us to feel better about it (reframing). Get support- our relationships are important, and nourishing those relationships is a huge stress reducer (as long as the relationships are conflict ridden). Physical activity is important for reducing stress so make time to take a walk, ride a bike, or do yoga. Particularly doing an activity in nature is even more healing. Touching is a big stress reducer for me- hugging or holding hands with my husband almost always brings my stress down a few notches. Reduce your internet and TV time- these can be huge time wasters. Don’t cut them out because a certain level is fun and stress reducing, but watching/surfing too much causes our stress to rise. And finally, don’t beat yourself up! Be gentle and encouraging with yourself and you will find that will translate to other relationships also.

Excerpt from blog Mindful Living: Self Esteem

What is self esteem? It seems like a not so well defined word that we use a lot in daily life. I see many people who think they do not have high self esteem, and it always takes some digging to find out what that means to them.

How I define self esteem is this sturdiness inside, and a love for ourselves on a deep level, even with our imperfections. It’s the sense that we know we are OK. The most beautiful part of knowing that we are OK, is that others are OK then too- and that is very powerful for relationships and healing. www.devonamarshall@blogspot.com

Kettle Moraine Counseling has openings for clients! And we can usually get people in that day or the following day. We take most insurance, and also, work out payment arrangements when needed.

Research:

Chronic Stress Linked to Obesity; September 5, 2010, PsychCentral : Everyday stress can cause metabolic changes that, in the long run, contribute to obesity.

We are happy to announce 2 new therapists joining us!

Deb Graf sees children, adolescents, adults and couples and she comes with many years of experience as a teacher. One of Deb’s specialties is working with children who have experienced trauma or have attachment issues.

Layne Sampson is another new therapist who is energetic, accepting of others and very skilled. She sees adolescents, adults and couples and one of her specialties is intimacy/couples issues. Layne is also working on becoming a yoga instructor!

Kettle Moraine Counseling now has a play therapy room (pictures coming soon)! It’s a wonderful, safe place for children to explore, heal and express themselves.

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