Tag: Substance Abuse

Does the Person You Love have a Drinking Problem?

I like the freshness of a new year and all of the possibilities that a new year brings. 2010 was a BIG year for Kettle Moraine Counseling- it’s the year we started! We have grown and grown and grown, which has all been good. We have more therapists and more

Question and Answer: I think my mother has a drinking problem and I don’t know if I should say something to her about it?

Here are some guidelines if you suspect that someone you are close to has a drinking problem. 1. Do not attack or blame- it won’t do any good and will create even more distance in the relationship. 2. Create as safe a place as you can for them to open up to you about their issue- doing some of your own self-disclosure about something that is difficult can help open the lines of communication. 3. You can offer support but you cannot force changes, that comes from within each of us, so keep a healthy attitude about what you can and cannot change. 4. If you do broach the subject and she becomes defensive, back down and wait for another time. 5. Take care of yourself! Remove yourself from situations that may be painful to you and do not do any rescuing (easier said than done). An excellent resource is your local Ala-non groups.

Research Updates:

Your friends aren’t as happy as they seem
December 22, 2010, Los Angeles Times

People keep their negative feelings hidden when around others which may lead them to conclude that they are more alone in their emotional difficulties than they really are.

Placebos help, even when patients know about them
December 22, 2010, MSNBC

Patients in small study reported feeling better, even when knowingly taking a sugar pill.

For LGBT teens, acceptance is critical
December 6, 2010, CNN

Family acceptance of LGBT youth predicts positive outcomes in mental health, self-esteem, and overall health status and non-heterosexual young people are more likely to receive punishments in a school or criminal justice setting

Excerpt from Mindful Living Blog: Heartbreaks

So what to do if your heart has been broken? Know that you are in good company- it’s a universal experience. Take care of yourself- eat healthy, sleep as much as you need to, reach out for support, exercise and get outdoors. Journal your feelings. Know that the pain will lessen with time. Treat yourself gently- now is not the time to criticize or blame yourself.

Then when the pain has eased some, you can look at the relationship- what did you learn from it? How did it change you? In what ways were your needs met, or not met? What patterns of behavior might you want to change? And ask yourself what is next?

Do not shut down from others and experiences! It is our natural instinct and it’s OK to do that for a while, but then we need to get back in the saddle and risk being vulnerable again.

You will feel better, I promise.

Happy New Year!! I like the freshness of a new year and all of the possibilities that a new year brings. 2010 was a BIG year for Kettle Moraine Counseling- it’s the year we started! We have grown and grown and grown, which has all been good. We have more therapists and more space. I work with a great bunch of therapists and feel blessed that they chose to work at this clinic when they would be an asset anywhere they work. The clinic has a play therapy office and also a play are for kids in the waiting room- something we are very proud of- we want the little ones to feel safe and welcome and hope that we have accomplished that. As we continue to grow, we hope to never lose that personal touch- because truly you are all important to us. Devona Marshall

 

I am worried my child may be using drugs. I don’t know what to do!

I got the pleasure to spend time this past weekend (at our cabin) with some of my nephews (and two of my children), who are all mainly teens, and what a fun experience!

Question of the Month: I am worried my child may be using drugs. I don’t know what to do!

This is a question we often get as counselors, and it is certainly a scary time for parents when they have some suspicions about drug use. Keep talking to your teen, share your suspicions in a calm manner. Do not accuse but ask about use. Explain why you think they may be using drugs.

Will they be honest with you if they are using? Probably not, but you are opening the lines of communication. Give your teen some education around drugs and their effects when the opportunities arise- do not over dramatize because they will not listen. Information is power. Monitor who your child’s friends are (you can’t choose their friends, but you should know who they are) and where they are hanging out.

Call parents to make sure there is supervision when they are going to another teen’s home. Establish and enforce rules about checking in with you when they are gone. Spend time with your teen and talk with them, not at them. Will this prevent or stop all drug use? No, but having a relationship with your teen will help in the good and bad times. Knowing that you are checking up and in with them regularly, gives teens a sense of safety and consistency even though they will complain about it. And seeking advise/help from a school or community counselor is always a good option to help you navigate through these magical, yet difficult years!

Devona Marshall, the clinic director and psychotherapist, has a blog where she writes about therapy, life and being human. It can be found at www.devonamarshall.blogspot.com or www.lostinrelativity.blogspot.com

Hanging with Teens

I got the pleasure to spend time this past weekend (at our cabin) with some of my nephews (and two of my children), who are all mainly teens, and what a fun experience!

We sat around the campfire, talking about our first kisses, and everyone participated. I have to say my sister’s answer to that question was quite interesting! We also talked extensively about drugs and let’s just say, they are exposed to a lot. Way more than I ever was as a teen, and it’s so much more available.

I am proud of how they are all making their way through those teen years, with challenges I never had to face. But they are making THEIR way through.

My sisters and I raised our children together, and that has been a huge blessing. The support we get from each other in the parenting department is invaluable. And I know they love my kids and want what’s best for them.

There was a lot of testosterone flowing this weekend- wrestling and seeing who was stronger. I wonder if they will ever outgrow that? There is definitely a hierarchy based upon strength and size among these cousins, and as a female, it’s pretty foreign to me!

On Monday we all went home and back to duties-them school, the adults- work.

I feel blessed.
Devona

Happiness may come with age, study says
May 31, 2010, The New York Times

A new study has found that by almost any measure, people get happier as they get older, but researchers are not sure why.