I have no libido, and it’s really affecting my marriage. Please help!

Question and Answer: I have no libido, and it’s really affecting my marriage. Please help!

Ok. Don’t panic. You are not alone. Although I have seen both men and women with low sex drives (or nonexistent), in my practice, it tends to be more of a woman complaint. There can be many reasons for low libido- from the physical, emotional and relational. It’s always best to rule out any physical reasons to start with- medications, especially antidepressants are notorious for reducing and even eliminating sex drives. High blood pressure, hormone changes and diabetes can affect libido along with many other physical ailments, so get a check up and talk to your doctor to see if this could be the problem. Physical exercise can help increase sex drive, so sweat a little! Then if you are fine physically, look at emotional issues- depressed people tend to have low libido, as can grief or just feeling overwhelmed, tired and overworked. Lastly, how is your relationship doing? Do you feel connected, listened to and heard? Have you been taking the time to be together and to enjoy touching each other in a nonsexual way? Often times it is a relationship issue that can be worked out in couple’s therapy by strengthening the connections. Take a multi modal approach to looking at the causes, and then have a plan of action to fix what you can!

Research Update:

Love Study:
Brain Reacts To Heartbreak Same As Physical Pain Love hurts, and that is not just a saying for the broken hearted. Heartbreak is a very strange distress. It is exquisitely painful, and yet we cannot find an injury on our body. New research finds that when you reminisce about the one that got away, the brain actually triggers sensations that you also feel in times of “real” physical pain, making heartbreak truly, physically painful to add to the emotional distress it sometimes causes. From Medical News Today, March 28, 2011

Impact Of A Bad Job On Mental Health As Harmful As No Job At All The impact on mental health of a badly paid, poorly supported, or short term job can be as harmful as no job at all, indicates research published online in Occupational and Environmental Medicine.

Blog Excerpt:

Often times as a therapist when I see clients for feeling general malaise, or down, I see a connection to the lack of intimacy in their lives. They may be married and have many people in their lives, but they don’t feel close; they don’t share the “soft underbelly” of their emotional life. I believe we heal in relationship to others, (and sometimes that other is a therapist) but most often it is the loved ones already in our lives. In therapy by having the client connect with me and share their inner worlds, it often naturally extends to them sharing with others in their lives, and the depression lifts. What’s really cool is that the current research on the brain and attachment is giving us scientific evidence on the healing powers of relationship!

www.devonamarshall@blogspot.com We all need intimacy

From the director:

We are busy expanding our offices again! In the next few weeks we will have a therapy office devoted to art therapy- for children and adults. Although all the therapists can use the office, one of our therapists (Angela Waldoch) in particular has been waiting for a place to put her art therapy supplies, and now it’s happening. If art therapy is an interest of yours- you can contact Angela at the clinic. She is accepting new clients. For those of you that have been following my “puppy chronicles”, I am happy to report she has calmed down a lot! Jordyn is now 8 months old, and besides a recent trip in a police car, she is listening much better, and is a regular part of our family. We did get the back yard completely fenced in so that she will not have anymore trips in the back of a squad! Enjoy the spring weather, and especially the sunshine. Til next time, be gentle with yourself and others, Devona Marshall