What if I Hate the Holidays?

Question and Answer:

“I hate the holidays! I don’t find any meaning in them and just can’t wait until it’s all over. Please help……..”

I understand this problem because I have experienced it myself! It can be hard to find meaning in our holidays when they are filled with the excesses of consumerism, but it is possible. First, lower your expectations- do not expect the holidays of your dreams or our cultures dreams- it usually does not exist for most of us. There probably will be some fighting, too much drinking, and not enough money. Pick out what you do enjoy and focus in on that- the decorations, baking, music or visiting. Ask yourself what is meaningful to me, and then do it!

Start new traditions if the old don’t do it for you anymore. In our family, one of our traditions (that my husband and I started) is to buy an ornament for that year that symbolized something that we went through during the year. So, we have school buses for when the kids entered grade school, a golden retriever ornament for when Lucky came into our lives, a new house ornament for the year we bought our house, etc. We all look forward to looking at the ornaments each year and it’s a wonderful trip down memory lane.

Many people feel lack of meaning around the holidays, so be gentle with yourself!

Research update:

From Stanford University October 2010:

As we age we are more emotionally balanced, we get along with others better and we are more compassionate. Good news!

Blog excerpt Mindful Living:

Holiday Expectations
Although I think my journey to peace with the holidays is not finished yet, I do think some things can help many of us have more contentment around the season. The first is to watch your expectations, about family connections, food, gifts, etc, and know that “it is what it is”. Your family may not be the “Cleavers” but it doesn’t mean that your family isn’t unique- celebrate your differences! Start new family traditions that mean something to you- snowy walks, singing, movies, baking, playing games, midnight church-anything that brings meaning or fun. Remember you are not alone!


Kettle Moraine Counseling has openings for clients! And we can usually get people in that day or the following day. We take most insurance, and also, work out payment arrangements when needed.

From the director:

We got a new puppy at our house- and it’s been a lot of work, but also a lot of fun. She is very cute and also mouthy. Our vet gave her a clean bill of health today- her name is Jordyn and we are looking forward to many years with her!

Things are going well at our clinic, and we may be expanding again-

More room for kids to play and spread out. The extra suite should open Dec. 1st or so. If you ever want a tour or look around, let me know- I love to show off our place! Deb Graf is getting training on Attachment Therapy and Eating Disorders. Layne is training on being a yoga instructor. Tricia and Julianne presented training on students and mental health to the WB School District. Lori presented on seasonal affective disorder to a local business, and Julianne recently attended training on divorce mediation. Busy staff! We are available for presentations/speaking on many topics- please contact Devona for information.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays- and I hope you enjoy your day, and share what you are thankful for because there are so many blessings in our lives if we really think about it! This year I am thankful for my new pup, the economy improving, woodstoves to keep us warm, and that Kettle Moraine Counseling has only been open since March 1st but it is doing so well. Thank you for trusting us with your/others care! Devona Marshall